I have no idea what I'm doing...

As the title suggests, I have no idea what I'm doing. Right now I should be studying. I am in seminary (for those who may not know, that's theological grad school) and this semester I am taking only six hours, just two classes. But oh those classes! 7 AM Systematic Theology and 8.30 AM Philosophy of Religion, brain-stretchingly brutal classes compounded that they are so early in the morning....so I have homework. I should be reading right now about the Kalam cosmological model, but I am not. Why?
For multiple reasons, thank you for asking.
1. While I like William Lane Craig as a philosopher, he is pretty wordy and (hrmm hrrm) long winded.
2. My wife and I started this blog and I have not really been contributing to it.
3. Ok, so there are really just two.
So I am taking classes (did I already say that? ok, moving on...) and I work full-time. This means that I am busy and rarely home. This makes me sad, but in a way, it is almost bitter sweet. How, you ask? You are full of good questions today! Today when I got home from work my girls were all outside and when they saw me ride up they literally shrieked for joy. That was nice. But because they hardly get to see me, I miss out on some pretty important things.
Proverbs 22:6 says "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." And Ephesians 6:4 says "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Now regardless of how one interprets the second part of the verse from Proverbs on a child not turning from the way they were brought up, the point is clear from both verses: parents (fathers, more specifically) need to be about the business of training their children.
But training in what? How?
This is the part where the title of the post starts ringing true. I have no idea what I'm doing as a dad. I suspect that nobody else does, or if they do, they are hiding it really well.
We as dads tend to have these lofty ideas about what family discipleship looks like. It probably takes place after dinner or early in the morning. Children are summoned and they come running down the stairs like it's Christmas morning because they know that Dad is about to impart some wicked awesome biblical knowledge and wisdom. The entire family gathers round to hear Dad reading a passage from the Bible (somehow like James Earl Jones) and everyone is alert and attentive, even the 18 month old. The Mom sings a hymn and the Dad breaks down the passage, just like your favorite preacher, wise commentary from the children surprises everyone, then Dad leads in solemn and respectful prayer, and then everyone hugs and someone busts out a game of jacks or a guitar or something.
This is some horrible lie out of the Christian Leave it to Beaver.
I have a four year old and an 18 month old, both girls. They fight and squabble over toys, or personal space, or breathing air. This happens. Constantly. That mixed with what little time I have to give them, it just feels easier sometimes to not have a family Bible study time.
But all that is just excuses isn't it? I still have an obligation, biblically mandated, to lead my family, to train my children to love and serve God.
Psalm 127:3-5 says "Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."
Obviously I don't have sons. But I think the passage is still pretty powerful as a picture of how children are important, especially for the Gospel, nevermind the so-called "culture-wars". Children, like arrows, need to be made, crafted, carefully and purposefully tuned and turned and made to fly straight so that when loosed, the arrow/child reaches it's desired target. I need to be making my arrows sharp and ready to contend in the gates of life with the Enemy. This is important not just for me, but for them and the future of the Church and the spread of the Gospel.
But how in the world do I go about doing this?
Deuteronomy 6:7 says "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." This seems pretty straight-forward: talk about the Bible, all. the. time. Whenever you are with your kids, whether going on a trip to the grocery store, hanging out at home, before you go to bed, after you get up in the morning. Colossians 4:6 says "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." This general admonition is perfect when thinking about how to approach teaching the Bible to children. It needs to be the flavoring of our conversations, so that what we say will not be flat, bland, and worthless. But since the law of the Lord is like honey (Psalm 18:10), it needs to be the sweetener to our speech.
Moreover, we simply need to make the time for this if we deem it to be important. That is probably my biggest hang up right there. Do I really believe all of this? Do I really feel the importance of the Gospel, salvation and training for my girls? Do I really feel the urgency? (honest time) More often than not, no. But we still need to set aside the time, as we read and think and discuss, even for a brief few minutes the Bible with our family, our minds will be transformed and conformed to the mind of Christ, God willing. For this transformation to take place, we need to be in the Word.
So how do we go about having a family devotional time? I don't remember where (or else I would cite the source, it was good!) but I read an article about family devotions and it went something like this: set aside time, which ever works best for your family's schedule, then pray, read a few verses from the Bible, and make some comments, ask some questions, answer questions, pray again. Done! It does not have to be perfect or "churchly". It needs to be done. Yes, your kids will want to be doing something else. Yes, you may not "have the time" to do them daily. Yes, you will miss days. Yes, you will have fighting kids, screaming and possibly crying. That is life. We cannot let those be setbacks to training our children in the ways of righteousness. To make those inevitable events in the course of everyday life an excuse to not do something vitally important to the spiritual health of your family is cowardly and shows that we are weak and do not really want to lead our families.

So I want to issue a challenge to the (few) dads who may read this. If you have the Youversion Bible app on your phone (tablet, computer, smart phone, whatever), pick a devotion that is just reading the Bible, nothing fancy, it can be as long or as short as you want. I don't think devotional content is needed, but whatever, your choice. But pick one that has the readings in short(ish) passages, depending on the ages and attention span of your kids, and simply go through it. It can take five minutes, it can take fifteen. But make a commitment to sit down with your family and try to read the Bible together and talk about it.

What is to be done?

What is to be done? What is to be done about the state of affairs that this world has found itself in? What is to be done about the sickeness, pain and suffering of refugees, war torn communities, broken families? What are we to do about the women who feel that they have no where to turn when faced with an unwanted pregnancy, so they go to someone who will "fix" their little "problem"? What in the world are we to do about poverty, drugs, gun violence, racism, homosexuality, biogotry, persecution, famine, scandal and heartbreak? If. If we look at the state of the world and bemoan the sucking mire that we ourselves have put our fellow human beings in, if we see that there is bleakness and darkness all around us, if we can see that there needs to be a way out, what do we do? We try to find a program, a candidate, a policy, a slogan.  Occupy this, take down that, catch phrases and empty political posturing that mean what? We try to find a person to pour all of our hopes in (only so much as they conform to what the "majority" thinks of their solutions for the problems) only for four years on down the road they are seen as a dissapointment, a compromiser, a hardliner incapable of compromise, a weakling, a warmongerer.  It is true. The system we have created is broken, and always has been. There is a very Pelagian taste to the democratic process. We try to find a way to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. Futility, vanity, smoke and vapor.
So what is to be done? What can we do?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
There is nothing we can do to fix our problem. No program can be conjured up, no perfect candidate that will magically fix all the world's ills. 
So what is to be done?
Look to the Cross.  Look to Christ.  The problem of this world can only be fixed by the One who overcame the World.  We gather together in His hospital for the sick and broken and the Great Physician binds us up and heals all our wounds before sending us out into the world to bring in those who see that they are in need of something More than this world can offer. 
Believe in Him and follow what He has revealed to us in His Word, glorify the God and Creator of the Universe who through His sacrificial life in obedience to His Father has wrought salvation with His own wounded hands for those who would believe in His Name.  We must live in a life of obedience to Him.  Not a lip service of false repentence and emptily percieved moral superiority.  We need to be obedient to His Word, not just the "Do Not". But the radical parts of the whole of Christ's message.  Love of one's enemies, praying for those who we are being persecuted by, reaching out to the poor, orphans, widows.  Taking care of and showing love to everyone, whether we feel they deserve it or not.  That means, the homeless person panhandling by the side of the road that we ignore at the red light.  That means our frenemies at the office. That means ISIS. That means the Republicans and the Democrats.
This world and it's system is broken and failed.  Always has been. Instead of investing so much time and energy into the political process and a personality, we need to look to the Person of Christ as the ONLY remedy for this fallen world.  This means unwavering devotion to Him and what He has commanded us, no matter the consequences.