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Friday, August 18, 2017

What Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?


We live here in the Philippines. Since you are reading this post, there is a good chance you already knew that. We have been here since the middle of January of this year, and at times it feels like we are just screaming so fast (pas-pas kaayo) through the year. Other times it feels like a single day takes about a month. It's now the middle of August, and we have celebrated all of the girls birthdays, and we are looking forward to being done with our formal language study and moving on to (possibly) moving closer to where we will be working. We are hoping to really focus our energies on training and helping local pastors equip their churches to go and do the work, as the gospel moves, we move with it, helping to train and lead and guide new churches as the Holy Spirit directs us.

Tons of stuff has happened to us, but all of it seems small sometimes. I've shared my fair share of events and adventures here, and Hollie has through the Newsletter and we've both shared on facebook. Here's the thing that everyone knows about moving to a new place: you actually move on. People drift apart, you send fewer and fewer messages to each other, friends that you would have given your left kidney for are harder to get in contact with. It happens. People get busy, they meet new friends, they get wrapped up in the day to day and their life in a new local. The people you leave behind press in to the remaining people surrounding them and they too meet new friends and get pulled into their lives. Family and friends both suffer from the long distance relationship that you have been put in. And while everyone says they will keep in touch, that we will call and talk every weekend, that is almost a nicety, something that sounds hollow because we almost all know that in reality, it's not going to happen.

We've tried to keep in touch, we really have. I (Jeff) have tried to message at least three people from Solid Rock a week, though more often than not it tends to be forgotten. Some of them have been happy accidents, like when Craig Moss's finger fumbled and he video called me. We had a really good talk for like an hour and a half! Hollie has tried to keep in contact as well, and she too has had varying success. Good video calls. Good chats with friends, but no matter how much we talk on facebook messenger or whatsapp, it just doesn't feel like enough.
And we know that it won't be enough, it can't be enough. We (all of us) have invested time into the relationships that we have and wrenching people apart for any reason, much less ministry, makes it difficult and painful to maintain those relationships.

For us though there seems to be an added measure. Since we are missionaries, we are viewed as odd, no odd isn't the right word is it? Outsiders? Super-Christians? Hmm...well, regardless of what the word actually is, feeling we get is that we are different. In some ways we are. Most American families live in America, they have "normal" jobs and their kids don't have to learn another language just so they can play with the neighborhood kids. But we are still very similar in quite a few crucial ways. We still have problems, we still have struggles, we still have trials and temptations. We have the responsibilities to help care for our brothers and sisters in Christ. We also have a normal life here: We get up and have breakfast, do our work, hang out with our kids, go shopping, run errands, deal with jerks in traffic. We still need Christian community. We still need encouragement and prayer, and we need to be able to encourage and pray for our church family back home. While I know for a fact that we do indeed get that support from our church, it is hard to give that support back. When we message people asking about how they are doing and what things they need prayer for they seem confused. 'Why would I need prayer compared to you?' We had quite a few people who actually said things like "Me? Shouldn't I be praying for you?" Of course! But we are still family, still people who were created for community. And foreign missions is sometimes very lonely. For as much as I want to think that I can go alone with just my family, I know it's not true. I need community, I need to not only get support from brothers and sisters, I need to be able to give it.

I'm not trying to shame anyone with this. I'm not trying to make anyone upset. All I am saying is we miss you guys. We want to know what's going on in your lives, even if it is all happening half a world away. We want to be able to pray for you here, and tell our Local Family ways they can pray for our Stateside Family, ways they can lift you guys up with us. Trust me, we want to help you carry your burdens just as much as we want to share our own with you. We want that communication, we want the late night video calls or the early morning message marathons. So don't feel like you don't want to burden us with your problems, go ahead and write those long emails, snail mail, carrier pigeon, bisan unsa (what ever)!

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