Hello Humility

Pride. It's sneaky and sly and sneaks up behind you waiting to snare you when, and where, you least expect it.

This isn't the first time that I've lived overseas, away from all things familiar. This isn't the first time that I've lived in a developing country. This isn't the first time that I've been emersed in a different language and culture. And because this isn't my first time, I thought that I was prepared and knew what to expect. I thought that I would settle in without the slightest bit of culture shock and just adapt to the new way of life that I was anticipating. Little did I know, but that I've-got-this mentality was Pride, slowly tightening it's grip.

And then it happened. I was asked to cook a meal and host people in my new home. Any one who knows me, knows that I like to cook for people. And those who REALLY know me, know that I act like I don't like hosting, but deep down, I love it. The pressure (that I put on myself) to make things perfect for our guests, the fast pace in the kitchen and calculated timing to make sure each dish is hot and ready at the appropriate time, and of course the suspense, waiting to see if I get the house clean on time (of if I'll be throwing things in the the closet at the last minute to get them out of sight)...in a way hosting is like an action packed thriller. Not only do I secretly enjoy it, but if I were being really and truly honest, I'd say it is something that it is one of the few things that I think that I am good at.

So we've been in our new home in the Philippines all of two and a half weeks, and I'm trying to host new friends, and apparently Humility would be joining us for dinner.

I started with my usual routine, exactly like I would have done it in America. Step 1: Plan the meal. I chose one of our favorites. It is something I used to make all the time in the States, one of the girls favorites, and super easy, because why stress myself out with something complicated, right?! Crock-Pot Chicken Tacos.
Step 2: Grocery shop. I made my list for things and was pretty sure we'd be able to find everything. Chicken, check. Seasoning, check. Onions and bell peppers, check and check. Cheese? Um, well, you don't technically need that. Tomatoes? Really? No tomatoes? Okay...get canned ones at the import store. Tortillas? I was pretty sure I could make those. I mean, its basically just flour and water, right?
Step 3: Cook and clean simultaneously. What's that horribly shrill sound? Oh, that's just Rosie demanding to be held...every. single. second. Long story short, we were going with the 'lived in' look for the kitchen and living room. And as for cooking, I don't know if you've ever made homemade tortillas, on a gas burner with basically only one heat setting, while trying to also feed a screaming baby. Maybe you have and you rocked it. I rocked it also...if rocking it means making tortillas that are as hard as rocks. Ok, so tortillas were off the menu. It was ok though, because chicken tacos without tortillas is still Mexican chicken, and Jeff found canned black beans at the import store! But it didn't take long to realize that for canned black beans, I would need a can opener, which I did not. So it was time for another menu change, but too late to go to the store or market for more food.

It was about that time that panic set in. What would these new friends think of me? A wife that couldn't keep the house clean. A mother of 3 children that looked like they were being raised in the Philippine jungle by bearcats...dirty faces, wild hair, no pants, and uncontrollable crying. A hostess that couldn't prep a decent meal for her guests. That's when Humility came knocking at the door.

I'm not sure who invited Humility to my own personal pity party, but (as painful as it was) I sure am glad. Humility came with a reminder. 'Remember when you were sitting with Jeff, across from Nic Hill, at your kitchen table in Fort Worth and he said, "it doesn't matter what I think or what anyone else thinks." Remember that you aren't here so that people can think well of and make much of you. You are here to make much of God."

Pride is an ugly beast waiting around to snare us, but it's like the monster in Frankenstein. It is a monster that I created, when I started trying to make much of myself instead of trying to make much of God, and it has come back to destroy me. Thankfully though, Humility came as a messenger to remind me of my place, and that I have a Savior who will and has rescued me.

That Savior is Jesus Christ. All my failures and weaknesses are made so completely obvious in light of His perfection and strength. He is why I am here.

Lately when Sophia and I are doing homeschool, I've been telling her to do her best work, not to make herself look good, but to glorify the Lord. It's a lesson that I need to remember. In all things, in the States and overseas, my goal needs to be to glorify the Lord.

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV